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May 10, 2005
Sitting, Watching The World Go By
Have been spending a lot of time up at the cemetry, now that the bench is here. It's in such a great spot, facing into the evening sunshine, that it really does finish off a day popping in there on the way home. The birds are singing now, and the smells of spring are in the air. Plus, no matter how hard it rains, the bench never seems to be wet.
It's so peaceful, just sitting up there, watching things wander past. Brings clarity to my thoughts. And after last night, this evening was a chance to complete. I know it sounds daft, talking to someone who isn't actually there, but I found myself, as on previous evenings up there, just talking out loud about how much I miss her. Sharing what's been happening over the last few weeks and months, the new friends I've made, and the impact they've had on my life and my other friends. How much life has rearranged itself now that I'm present to what's happening around me once more. Comforting, vocalising oneself into the evening air.
I've chosen to have next Tuesday off. And I'm going to spend the day with Janet, visiting some of our old haunts. Places that Janet's heard of, but I'm pretty sure never experienced. Lunch at one of Jules favourite pubs. Sharing experiences and memories. Rather than sitting at home, depressed and quiet, like I think I would've probably wanted to spend the day if you'd asked me a few months ago.
And also, this weekend will be a weekend out and about. I've a few more things to sort in the house, stuff I didn't complete this weekend gone because I wasn't there. But the rest of the time I'm going to be out. Golf, pictures, dinner, who knows 
Whatever happens, it'll be posted up on here
Posted by alan at May 10, 2005 11:12 PM
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