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May 26, 2004
All Over
Well, yesterday was the day of the funeral, and we were overwhelmed with the turnout. A packed church greeted us when we arrived, many people I've not seen in a long time, and friends of Jules I'd never had the pleasure of meeting when she was alive.
After the service and the cemetery we returned to the Old Town and the wake at Bottles. Which rocked, as my younger brother put it this morning in his drunken hungover state. I don't remember much beyond about 5pm, so if you bought me a drink, or said hello, I'm sorry I can't remember now, but I'm told I was enjoying myself to the full!
Thank you to everyone for being there yesterday. The whole day was one big rollercoaster from start to finish. But it finished on a high, with everyone laughing and reminiscing of times long gone. She'd have been itching to get over there last night, never one to miss a party. I just know she'll be upstairs now, partying until the wee small hours.
Someone mentioned how the weather's been so good since last Monday. Now, some may say it's a coincidence, but I'd like to think she had a word on the way up, "I'm not having rain on MY funeral!"
As for the future and the weblog, there'll be another one, just for me, sprouting up soon. Jonathan's given me the keys and I'm going to be in decorating this weekend. This place, it'll stay, and once I've cleared away the 103 spam comments it got yesterday, it'll be kept as a memorial of those happy times.
Posted by alan at 11:46 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
May 23, 2004
Struggling With What To Wear
People have been asking what should they wear, and I've been saying anything colourful and comfortable. For those who'll be coming from work, a friend came up with a good suggestion, and that's to wear something in Jules favourite colour, blue. Be it a tie, shirt, pants, socks, anything that's blue will do.
Posted by alan at 11:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Something I Found
You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Anonymous
Posted by alan at 11:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 21, 2004
The Arrangements
Processsion
It will start at our house, go via Janet's, before reaching the church. If anyone wishes to follow us down, let either Janet or myself know.
Church Service
The service is at The Transfiguration RC Church on Grove Road, Old Town at 1pm. It's adviseable to turn up around 12:30 so you can get parked and grab a seat. A map showing the location of the church from the A1(M), along with suitable parking, can be found here.
Weston Road Cemetry
After the service (2pm approx) we will take Jules to the cemetery where a short service will be held before laying her to rest. A map showing the routes from the church to the cemetry can be found here.
The Wake
We're still finalising details of the wake, so will announce it at the funeral on the day. It will be a celebration of Jules life, so make sure, where possible, that you've suitable arrangements to get home.
Flowers/Donations
We've asked that people make donations to the Garden House Hospice, Letchworth, either via Austin's, or the family. All we ask is that you accompany the donation with a note of your name and address so that the Hospice can contact you.
And Finally...
On behalf of everyone I'd like to thank you all for the kind words, comments, emails, cards, text's and phone calls. We've been overwhelmed with everyone's words and thoughts this week, and we've found them a real boost in the last few days. We all hope as many people as possible will be able to make Tuesday, and join us in celebrating Jules with a large drink that afternoon.
Posted by alan at 7:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Funeral Announcement
For those who don't get the local Comet, the following was in there last night(second page):
PAGEon 17th May 2004, Julie-Anne Beloved fiancée of Alan, dearly Funeral Mass at the Church of the NO MOURNING CLOTHES TO Family flowers only by request. |
Posted by alan at 10:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 20, 2004
Visiting The Chapel of Rest
Some people have been asking about seeing Jules at the funeral directors. We've said that Sunday will be the day for visiting, just so they know when to expect people turning up.
If you wanted to go and see her please let either myself or Janet know.
Posted by alan at 3:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 19, 2004
A Little Chuckle
Jules is now over at the funeral directors, and we spent yesterday sorting the final arrangements for the funeral (I'll publish it all tomorrow). Afterwards we went to see Jules in the chapel of rest.
I don't know why, and what caused it, but standing there, looking at her all quiet and at peace, I couldn't help but smile. Something lifted, and I found myself grinning. She looked so at peace with everything, no more pained expressions, her face as if she were simply asleep.
I feel happy now. It's as if all the heartache of the last few days and weeks have been washed away. Don't get me wrong, I'm still crying at the slightest of things, but I just feel calm, relaxed, complete if that's the best description?
Digging around the pc, sorting out things for next week, I refound this picture. This is how I remember Jules , and this is how she now looks. Asleep in many senses of the word, at peace at last.....
Posted by alan at 10:00 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 18, 2004
A Party
So, at 25 minutes to 1 this morning I popped a bottle of bubbly and filled everyone's glasses to toast a life cut so short.
Jules is at peace at last, away from the pain and suffering of her disease.
Arrangements
The funeral will be next Tuesday at 1pm. I'll be sending out details to everyone as soon as I can. There will be no-one in black, grey, or dark, sad colours. Happiness will be the order of the day, and I suggest everyone organises transport home as there'll be plenty of "cheer" to be had afterwards.
And finally, thanks for ALL the kind words and thoughts. I've been overwhelmed and cheered up, reading everyone's emails, comments, and text's.
Posted by alan at 10:23 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
May 17, 2004
The End
Posted by alan at 2:17 PM | Comments (18) | TrackBack
May 14, 2004
Hard Days Night
Jules has now stopped drinking, having had a painful experience last night choking and coughing when things went the wrong way. The whole effort of drinking is just too much now, and given her lower and lower energy the doctor recommended that she stops trying before she has a major coughing fit and hurts herself.
So, it's getting closer and closer.
Thanks to everyone who's been emailing, and popping in. All I'll say is make today the day, and don't leave it to tomorrow......
Posted by alan at 8:35 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 13, 2004
Long Night's, Short Day's
Just popped home to change, then off back to work for the afternoon.
Jules is fairing as well as can be expected. She's started to shake now, her right hand and arm shaking when she moves them about. Her leg is also shaking a little, but not as much as her hand and arm.
Drinking has picked up a little, but she's not anywhere near the volumes she was drinking last week. And she's getting more and more exhausted with each attempt.
Pics in the extended bit...
Jules this morning, distant and dazed, but drinking a little more than yesterday. Her speech is all but gone, a faint squeak being the most she can muster now
Posted by alan at 12:26 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 11, 2004
Not Good
I'd be kidding to make out that things are okay, as they're not. Jules is getting worse day by day now. Tiredness is setting in regularly, and she's stopped eating all together. Fluids are restricted to nutrient milk shakes, and juices.
She's still got her humour, smiling and laughing at what she hears, but her talking has all but disappeared, a faint squeak being all she can muster.
I'm off back over there now, so don't expect regular postings as I'm going to be home less and less. It's best to leave a comment as it'll be forwarded to my phone, or give us a shout. And don't worry about popping over, just be prepared to wait as lots of people are popping in now.
Jules seemed happier yesterday morning, and when she realised that Spitfire was with us, she soon perked up 
As before, Spitfire soon made his home up on the window ledge, watching "breakfast" fly by
And Jules kept trying to keep him up on the bed, but he was having none of it
There was a new nurse there too, although he looked a bit more like a butcher than a carer
Today, Jules friends from her old workplace popped by, Jill and Betty.
Jules seemed a little more awake in the afternoon when they'd arrived, and managed a little more of the drinks. The bag on her shoulder is to support her neck, as the muscle strength has all but gone now, the more tired she gets, the more her head slips sideways.
Posted by alan at 9:44 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
May 10, 2004
Going Over
Janet's just called, it's 5am, and Jules has asked where the hell am I? Apparently I was supposed to be there, so I'd better get my arse into gear and get over. Probably nothing to worry about, but I ain't gonna be in work today guys 
Posted by alan at 5:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 9, 2004
Changing Every Day
Jules has changed since Friday. Having been away for just one night even I can see the difference. Janet's staying the night tonight, and I'm trying to get some sleep, having had a long weekend at GTI International, helping out the club. If anything happens, I'll be called.
She's probably going to be on a syringe feed from tomorrow, and the painkillers will be changed to an inline through a butterfly in the hand. She's also going onto Morphine, since she's struggling to swallow the paracetemol and codine.
Jules on Friday, having a drink and a bit of chocolate 
Jules tonight, much more tired, and not able to eat
And when she was awake she looked really washed out and exhausted.
Posted by alan at 8:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 7, 2004
A Bit of News From Ivan
Been keeping an eye on Ivan's online diary, and the latest can be found here:
BBC Online - Ivan Noble's Online Diary - LATEST
Sounds like things are going well, well as well as can be given the prognosis.
Posted by alan at 1:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
The Cabrio
Been a topic of debate recently as to what we should do with it. Well, I'm still of the opinion that it's a resto waiting to happen.
I'll leave it at that, since I know someone out there will post comment, won't you
Posted by alan at 12:36 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 6, 2004
Late
Must go to sleep, it's not doing me any good staying up this late....
Posted by alan at 1:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 5, 2004
Who Am I Kidding?
Decided to have a quiet night at home, having spent the last couple of days at work struggling to listen and understand what's happening around me. And before I make a mistake I thought I'd better grab an early night and catch up on some sleep.
Janet called earlier, saying that the nurses have noticed further deterioration in Jules in the last few days. She's getting worse each day now So Janet's going to stay over, as she's got the day off tomorrow, and spend the day bathing and keeping Jules company. And if anything happens, she'll ring me.
What's that done for my quiet night in? Well, it's nearly midnight, I've an empty bottle of rather nice Shiraz, a half eaten curry, and an updated weblog to show for it. And do you honestly see me getting any sleep..... Nah, didn't think so
Posted by alan at 11:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 4, 2004
A Curry
Tuesday nights are gourmet night at the Bombay in the Old Town. And after tonight's visits none of us could be bothered cooking. And thanks to the generosity of my younger brother, we went out and had a slap up curry, yum ![:-]](http://homepage.ntlworld.com/alanb2/images/icon_smile_tongue.gif){kind=icon}
Pics in the extended bit...
Laura's perfected her short arm routine, but still managed to order a Vindaloo
Chris, on the other hand, was keeping it real
Me? I just had waaaay too much to drink...
Like I said, waaaay too much to drink...
Laura managed to get her Vindaloo everywhere apart from her mouth. And even with the incentive of a month's MSN access she couldn't stomach more than a couple of mouthfuls 
Posted by alan at 11:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
The Big Visit
Jules has been saying, on and off, that she'd like to see her dad over the last week and a half. We've spent most evenings checking that's what she mean't, and so Laura went to see her dad this weekend and passed on the news.
Tonight, after many, many years, Jules agreed to see her dad. So he popped over, sat in, and had a long chat.
I thought Jules smiled just a bit more than normal, and seemed a little more perky than of late. Either way it went well, and I think, for the best
Pics in the extended bit...
Jules , early on in the evening, tucking into a Jaffacake, naturally I don't think Chris is ever going to get the baseball cap back
Moving into the day room, Jules started feeling a little sleepy...
But then her dad arrived, and once she'd said yes, she seemed to pick up a little. And listening to what he had to say, she smiled and giggled recounting the stories of her childhood and everything she'd been thro all those years ago.
She was soon tired again, so Dad said his goodbyes and went. Hopefully, he'll be back again on Saturday. Jules seemed keen enough, which was good after all the chats and discussions leading up to tonight.
Practically out for the count, we moved Jules back into her room and headed off home.
Posted by alan at 11:21 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 3, 2004
Another Bank Holiday
Up late, having had a large amount to eat and drink last night, catching up on the lack of a night out on Saturday. Ian achieved a lifetime ambition, having a lock-in at the local kebab shop when we went to collect our supper. Nights out will never be the same.
Jules was quite tired today, with everyone else visiting, a stream of people through the doors. I didn't pop back in the evening, instead having a hot bath and preparing for a return to work, urgh
Posted by alan at 10:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 2, 2004
A Bit of A Scrappy Day
Got up early this morning, Ian determined to be at the gates of Rush Green scrapyard at opening time. Didn't make it over there until 11am, but still managed a good 2 hours scavanging around for bits and pieces. I bagged 4 chrome Porsche door handles, and 4 interior Audi handles, which will go well on the cabrio one day. Ian got his bumper, but wasn't too keen on the suspension kit. We'll wait and see
Then had a spot of lunch before heading over to the Hospice to spend the afternoon there with Jules . Tony, Jenny, Becks and her man, Jeff, where already there, and we got Jules into one of the day rooms to give us all a bit more room.
Then it was over to the Fisherman for a pint and a bite to eat. Oh, and Benny from Agoonoree just appeared, as if by magic. He has a habit of doing that, you see
Posted by alan at 11:55 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
May 1, 2004
Big Night In
Nige, Ian and Mum got here just after 7, so once they'd had a cuppa and gathered their thoughts, it was decided a big night in was in order. So a quick cruise down the Old Town for some booze, and then a curry on order from the Taj Mahal.
DVD's, TV, and bed. Sorted
Posted by alan at 11:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
They're Coming!
Awoke to a grotty day, but at least the sun will be shining later on. Nige, Ian, and Mum are coming down, to shed a little light and cheer. Hopefully Ian's remembered the car speakers, and will be able to sort the stereo out. We'll also be making a visit to the scrapyard to pick up a bumper for his Monty.
Better get off and start finishing the cleaning. Then pop over to see Jules before they arrive.
Posted by alan at 11:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack