Where life is Viewtiful all the time

I've done it. By jove, I've finally done it! I should warn you, though, not to get too excited, as I've done nothing more than complete a video game: Viewtiful Joe. I'll explain the reason for my abject joy a little further on.

In the meantime, if the malapropped title in the style of Donkey Kong hasn't given it away, the game hails from Japan, and is, well, extremely Japanese. At heart it's little more than a sideways scrolling beat 'em up whose lineage can be traced directly back to such genre icons as Final Fight and Double Dragon, and likely beyond. The format for such games is simple. You (or the character you control, I should more rightly state) start out at the left side of the level and your task is typically to reach the right side of the level, beating to a pixellated pulp the villainous hoards you encounter along the way. If you're after depth, look elsewhere. It's not my favourite genre but Viewtiful Joe managed to catch my eye anyway. For a start, it looks unlike any other game I've encountered. Cel-shaded graphics have pretty much reached the mainstream, but VJ contains one of the best examples I've yet seen. For the most part, the action takes place in a 2d plane, but everything is rendered in 3d, allowing the camera to pan and scroll freely.

Secondly, the sheer verve and weirdness of the thing are darn near irresistible.

In terms of the mechanics of the game, VJ has a extra tricks up it's sleeve which lift it above other games of it's ilk and which tie in quite neatly to the plot. The game begins with Joe and Sylvia, his girlfriend, on a date to the movies, watching the latest outing of Joe's favourite superhero, Captain Blue, a pot bellied, mustachioed power ranger who looks as though his best days are behind him (Japanese, remember?). Things don't go so well for either Captain Blue or Joe, though, and not only is the good Captain defeated in the film, but the mysterious villain of the piece reaches through the screen and kidnaps Sylvia too. Captain Blue, unable to continue, bestows the magic word "Henshin" upon Joe, transforming ordinary Joe into the newest hero on the block, Viewtiful Joe, a slightly trendier power ranger, trailing a pink scarf (which doesn't look nearly as out of place is it probably should do, and no, they don't explain the name, so don't ask me). Joe is then sent into the film to rescue his beloved Sylvia. The VFX powers with which Joe finds himself are all movie related, such as fast-forward, slow-motion and zoom-in. Fast forward and slow-motion are both, as you might expect, time related powers, which correspondingly accelerate and decelerate time, allowing Joe either rain down a hail of punches upon his enemies in the blink of an eye, or else reduce time to a crawl so he can pick them off one by one. Zoom-in focuses the camera in on Joe, causing his enemies to quiver with terror.

And it's just plain fun to play. Joe is a wonderfully responsive character to control and the time warping mechanics are beautifully integrated into the game play. See a rotary bladed platform hovering tantalisingly out of reach? Slow down time and it drifts downwards until you jump up on it. Similarly, if the platform won't go high enough, speed up time until the blades whirr faster to propel you upwards. Also, if things are going badly, you can strike a pose, which will run down your VFX meter but cause damage to everyone around you. Joe himself an endearingly expressive lead and his cockiness knows no bounds. If he taxes his VFX powers through overuse, he temporarily reverts back to ordinary Joe, until his power meter restores itself. In keeping with the powers gifted him, he has to speak the magic word "Henshin" to become Viewtiful Joe again. Joe being Joe can't resist putting his own spin on it which results in his hideously addictive catch-phrase, "Henshin a-go-go, baby!"

The only downside to the game is that it's hard. And when I say that, let me be certain that you understand me. This game is hard. Hard. HARD! I cannot stress this enough. Before buying it, I'd read a review that commented on the learning curve. That reviewer said it started to get a bit hard at around the third level. I found myself struggling half way through the first level. And it doesn't get any easier. I can only imagine that the designer was having a particularly bad day when he decided upon the difficultly level, because it's tortuously challenging. Partly this is as a result of there being too few save points - each level will allow you to save once in the middle. For the first half of each level, this isn't too much of a problem - the real difficulty comes with the second part. Not only do you have to slog through the remainder of the level, but at the end you do battle with the end of level guardian, a hulking, seemingly invulnerable behemoth who will immediately pummel you into submission. The already high difficulty level just spikes when you reach these guys. Once all your lives are gone, which doesn't take long I promise, you're sent back to the last save point, to begin again. It becomes a bit of a grind all too quickly. But you carry onwards, because despite it, the game is just plain fun. Until you reach the 6th level. I swear the design of this level indicates vindictiveness of the highest order. Here the pattern you've been used to on prior levels broken - this level consists of the first four end of level guardians you originally fought and hoped never to see again. But now you have to beat them one by one without respite. It's almost enough to make a grown man cry, but the happiness you feel when you've finally beaten them... is quickly shattered when you realise that there's an entirely new fifth guardian to fight at the end of it who's even more mind-numbingly difficult. This is enough to make a grown man weep. I bought this game back in September. It took a couple of weeks to reach the last level, and then I stalled. It just couldn't be done. No human being could do this. I ended up throwing down the controller in disgust on more than one occasion, putting the game back in it's case and swearing that I was done, that I was defeated and that I was never going to play the game again. Except that after a while I'd get the nagging feeling that it couldn't have been as bad as I remembered, and that perhaps this time it would be different. Perhaps this time I might complete it. This delusion went on for months, until at last, today I've done it. I've completed it. I'm not entirely sure how, but I believe blind luck played an important part.

And what's the reward in the game for finally having bested it? You find that there's a new mode unlocked. A hard mode.

Words fail me.