October 22, 2005
Tainted milk
I should make my position clear: I dislike flavoured milk intensely, with particular vitriol reserved for chocolate milk, a fusion of two wonderful substances into an bilious liquid barely fit for human consumption. The other variants are equally vile.
But although I have no love for the stuff, I tolerate it's existence on the basis that it's marketed as a soft drink for the most part, rather than as a milk substitute. I doubt most people would consider adding banana flavoured milk to their tea, for example. So never the twain shall meet for the most part. Pure and innocent Milk and icky, nasty flavoured milk stand apart in their own disparate realms. Thus it is and thus it ever was.
But what then are we to make of this incursion into the no man's land between the two worlds? "A tantalising hint of natural wild strawberry flavour" says the melodious marketing campaign. Pure corrupting evil in a carton, say I.
Just say no kids.
You know, one could accept your vitriol if you did in fact drink real milk, but you don't. You drink that watered down, mildly flavoured, texture deficient muck referred to as "skimmed".
I mean the word "skimmed" says it all...
Skimmed: to take away the choicest or most readily attainable contents or parts from.
And what's this bias towards tea? You can make particularly good coffee with chocolate milk, you know. Tell the smeggin' truth I'd rather add banana milk to coffee than that wretched skimmed stuff. Adding milk to coffee should turn it a nice brown/tan hue and smooth out the texture slightly. It should not noticeably water it down and turn it gray. Gray, for heaven's sake. Puts you right off.
Seriously though kids, ignore uncle iMark - he's lactose-curmudgeonly. If you wanna try Hint-Of... in place of coke, go for it.
I'm off to hide now... before Mark commences blanket-bombing this end of Northfield with gallon cartons of watered down, mildly flavoured, texture deficient muck >;->
Posted by: Kevin at October 22, 2005 09:09 PM