Anti-advertisements

Now I'm not about to rush out and buy a new car anytime soon (or ever for that matter), but the car I'm specifically not going to rush out and buy at this moment is the Audi RS4 Quattro.

Years ago, my little sister, sitting in front of the television, complained that she didn't think much of an advert she'd just watched ("crap" I believe was the word she used). I disagreed that the advert was crap and pointed out the she likely wasn't in the demographic the advertisers were trying to target with that particular advert. What I really want to know now is what sort of freakish demographic the latest Audi advert is targeting so I can make a point of avoiding them. That advert scared the bejeezus out of me!

The advert begins by featuring a vast empty black space across which are spread a number of spider webs, strongly resembling that scene from Krull (yes, I have a long memory where these things are concerned). The sound of water dripping accompanies a fragmented soundtrack all of which is reminiscent of many a scene from horror films. The camera makes several quick cuts. A brief flash of something moving around the web. The camera closes in on something trapped in the web, sheathed in spider silk. It's a car dangling like a snared insect. We get a brief view of the dashboard. The radio is player something cheerful before cutting out. The lights on the dashboard fade. An exterior view of the dangling car. The doors and bonnet are open. Fluid is leaking from it.

It's a nightmarish vision of a dying car.

Something is still moving about the web. The camera cuts again to a long shot, the ground illuminated from above. A gargantuan, monstrous spider drops into view, it's carapace pitch black and reflective. It starts skittering towards the camera at a rapid pace. It exits from the pool of light, vanishing into darkness before emerging into the light again while simultaneously morphing into an car.

The end.

Forgive the language, but bloody hell! What on earth were they thinking? That's suppose to entice someone to buy a car? It's managed to invoke quite the opposite reaction in me - I see that car in the street and I'm going to start running in the opposite direction. That advert should have an 18 certificate. It's one of the creepiest things I've seen in a long time!

Not nice. Not pleasant. Not good. If you'll excuse me I'm going to find something to watch that features animated anthropomorphised animals being nice to one another to take my mind off that...