My balls are a funny colour

Ah, what is it about the noble art of juggling that lends itself so well to tawdry innuendo? The opportunity to make endless puns involving the word "balls" perhaps?

My shiny new acrylic balls arrived in the post from Fire Toys this morning. Whilst I recalled a note on the web site I ordered them from recommending checking the contents before signing for a delivery, I skipped this step and sent the delivery man on his merry way before I got around to opening my package. I rather wish I'd followed the advice on the site a little more carefully, since when I opened the jiffy bag, I discovered two acrylic balls, one in fetching shade of translucent blue, and the other a delicate and slightly more opaque orange, bearing a pleasing resemblance to a balloon filled with water. Both are pleasingly heavy to the touch and great improvement on the stage balls I'd been toying with before, but dishearteningly, neither was what I'd ordered. I double checked my email receipt, which confirmed that I had indeed ordered two crystal clear balls, though this did seem to be at odds with the invoice that came with the package which clearly listed the two different colours. These weren't the balls I was looking for. I began wondering how to go about exchanging...

"Oi!"

Who said that?

"I did. It's me, your subconscious."

Um, I don't mean to be rude, but aren't you a touch... vocal for a subconscious?

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I'm not meant to be this direct, but you're overlooking something."

I am? What?

"Well, if I could tell you that I'd hardly be your subconscious would I?"

Well if you ask me you're hardly behaving like a subconscious now.

"Touché."

So what, I'm just meant to guess am I? How about a hint, surely you can do that much?

"Ok, ok, notice anything weird about the package?"

No, I can't say that I... no, wait. Now that you mention it, I paid a little extra for courier delivery, and it was delivered by the Royal Mail.

"Now we're getting somewhere. Anything else?"

Yes, the delivery address was printed all in lower case. It's not much I know, but I thought that was a bit odd. It's a bit embarrassing but I actually take some pride in typing my address in. It's my very first address (that's all mine), you see and I always capitalise the address.

"And this means...?"

I'm not... I mean, I don't... oh. Wait. I need to take another look at that invoice don't I?

"By Jove, I think he's got it! My work here is done. Bye now."

And I've just had a closer look at that invoice, particularly the invoice address, which cleared up that little mystery. All I can say is thank you for the encouragement, and unexpected vote of confidence, which I hope I can return one day.

Thought iMark at February 18, 2006 11:58 PM | TrackBack