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April 10, 2008
The Glasgow train
We went to Glasgow on the train last weekend, took the scenic route up, on the Settle – Carlisle line, all viaducts, tunnels and sheep, very nice.
Ribblehead viaduct
Came back down the East coast which would have been equally nice, Northumberland beaches, Bamburgh Castle, puffins and the like, but there was a Japanese girl on the train.
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t got anything against the Japanese. Only this girl was loud and managed to speak non-stop for two and a half hours. And when I say speak I’m being generous, she squawked, high-pitched, incessant oriental gibberish. People were throwing themselves off the train to get away.
voluble far-eastern cacophony shaking the entire train
After what seemed like an eternity – and you can’t help listening when this sort of thing is going on, pulling ohmylordissheevergoingtoshutup faces when you catch the eye of other passengers - she finally stopped and the carriage fell into an eerie silence.
But just before everyone started to go about their book-reading, card-playing, starey-window, railway-passenger lives once more there was heard a low Japanese murmur coming from her friend. He must have said something like: “what was that bit about when your step brother’s friends grandmother’s cat got stuck in her next door neighbour's trouser press?” because she started up again.
We got off at York, and, as the giant Intercity 225 whirred and creaked its way out of the station into the enclosing darkness, we heard the girl still going strong, just getting to the bit about how she’d found some chewing gum stuck to her shoe when she was getting on the number 37 bus to go to her cousin’s birthday party in…
Posted by john at April 10, 2008 09:18 AM